Thursday, February 12, 2009

Blue Sky Black Death- Slow Burning Lights

Blue Sky Black Death Slow Burning Lights: One of the best production crews out there joins forces with Coco Rosie sounding vocalist to produce an interesting listen. The beats and production are top notch, the lyrics are strong, but the singers voice isn't my cup of tea(ed. note: Sounds like some one broke her jaw then made her sing.).

Rating: 12/15 unexpected collaborations

Blood for Blood- Livin' in Exile

Blood for Blood Livin' in Exile: If you're drunk and angry, you really can't do better than this album. Its fast, its angry, its drunk but also intelligent and insightful. This is a no bullshit record.

Rating 13/15 Brawling drunks

Verbal and The Kickdrums - Idiot Savant

Verbal and The Kickdrums Idiot Savant:

Hey did you like Atmosphere when he wasn't lame(Lucy Ford EP and God Loves Ugly)? Yeah? Then you'll dig on this album. Verbal is like Atmosphere topically, but is more charismatic and has less grating voice. His rhymes, while not mind-bending, are clever and equal parts bragging and blunt honesty. But Verbal alone doesn't carry the album, rather The Kickdrums do their jobs extremely well, giving Verbal some great beats to flow over. I suspect that if the beats weren't as interesting, this album would have a high burn out factor. But everyone brings their A games and we end up with an unusually awesome mixtape that proves that the Kickdrums are one of the better production teams in the game and Verbal is an MC to watch in the future.

Rating: 13/15 alcoholic, burnt out rappers

The Dillinger Escape plan- Irony is a Dead Scene

The Dillinger Escape plan Irony is a Dead Scene: Mike Patton and Dillinger Escape Plan come together for a single E.P. which stands out as both artists best work. Dillinger has always been plagued by crappy vocalists, and luckily they caught Mike Patton during one of those brief time periods where he'd rather sing than make obnoxious sound effects. As usual Dillinger's brand of Math Rock is vicious as it is complex. Patton adds not only some of his best lyrics and vocals, but also keyboards and other electronic doo dads. For five songs one is reminded of the potential both these artists have.

Rating: 14/15 Please Please Please make a full length album points

Kayne West - 808s & Heartbreak

Kayne West 808s & Heartbreaks:

WAHHH! IT'S SOO HARD BEING RICH AND HAVING LOTS OF WOMEN! WHAAA PITY ME!

Rating: 3/15 Livejournal entries

Explosions in The Sky-All of a Sudden I miss Everyone

Explosions in The Sky All of a Sudden I miss Everyone: I hope this album wakes people up to the fact that your loud quiet loud dynamics and movie soundtrack harmonies are FUCKING BORING AND DATED. Just be grateful that people have fallen for four albums worth of your bullshit. You are the Thomas Kincaid of music.

Rating: 3/15 Enya has more balls than you

The Band-Music From Big Pink

The Band Music From Big Pink: The album I think of when I hear the term "Classic Rock." Beautifully harmonized vocals, fantastic organ playing, and several great song writers. None of them died in a puddle of their own vomit while they were at their peak, nor did any of them have the, "I'm a huge douche worship me," aura of many of their contemporaries. They were just a damn good band. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up.

Rating: 15/15 BUM BAH BAH! BAH!

Cheap Tragedies - Volume 1: Souvenirs and Evidence

Cheap Tragedies Volume 1: Souvenirs and Evidence:

Oh fuck yeah! This is one of those few new punk albums that wears its influences proudly on its sleeve, but is fresh sounding at the same time. Guitars whirl like buzz saws as the vocals are just drunken shouts that manage to keep on time. Also there are nice touches through out the album, like a sprinkling of Jerry Lee Lewis pianos on “Jesus Just Left Cleveland.” Crank this at your next party and I guarantee a circle pit will erupt.

12/15 Zodiac references

KiD CuDi-A KiD named CuDi

KiD CuDi A KiD named CuDi: A laid back album with good beats, and great lyrics. CuDi's track Down and Out, is one of the best songs about substance use I've heard in awhile. The album only falters when CuDi tries to sing. A solid first release.

Rating: 12/15 Maui Wowies

The Misfits - Walk Among Us

The Misfits Walk Among Us:

You own this album. If you don't, what the fuck is wrong with you? This album is what pop punk should be. When I say pop, I mean catchy and fun. Take note that not one song is about a lame relationship or something equally inane. Rather they are singing about hacking skulls off girls and turning into Martians to rape people. Even those these songs are about the most absurd shit, they are still catchy with the ability to be lodged into your head for days. Very few albums I would call a necessity, but this is one of them.

15/15 Devillocks

Hot Panda-Volcano.....Bloody Volcano

Hot Panda Volcano.....Bloody Volcano: Post-enjoyable geek pop. They should change their name to The Oh So Trendy Thick Black Buddy Holly Glasses.

Rating: 4/15 Wasted Album titles

Converge - You Fail Me

Converge You Fail Me:

While most people cream themselves over Jane Doe, this is the album that really solidified Converge as pioneers of Metalcore. Why? Because it doesn't sound like they are playing in someone's closet. You can hear the anger pulsating out of your speakers in such clarity. Kurt Ballou should be cited as one of the most influential guitarists of this generation since most bands, at least in this genre, try to ape his playing style and this album shows off perfectly why they would want to. While doing nothing super fancy, the rhythm section manage to shine. The vocals are perfect for this type of music, making even pleas for hope to sound pissed off. If you're a fan of heavy music you need this album.

15/15 Steve Albinis

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart-selftitled

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart Selftitled:

Props on making the same indie-rock record every indie band has made since the mid-1980s.

Rating: 8/15 Hot hipster chicks with awful Diamond Dogs haircuts

Queen-The Cosmos Rocks

Queen The Cosmos Rocks:

Strictly for Rolling Stone subscribers.

Rating: 5/15 Desecrated legacies

Arckanum-Antikosmos

Arckanum Antikosmos:

Gollum singing about wolves and shit over a thirteen year old learning his first Slayer riff. This album is the result of many swirlies.

Rating: 2/15 Guys trying to be taken seriously while wearing corpse paint.

Miranda Lee Richards-Light of X

Miranda Lee Richards Light of X:

Richards sounds like Natalie Merchant with some added country twang. The music is good, but not exceptional. The above average lyrics make this album great.

Rating: 13/15 Pedal steel string section combos

The Bamboos - Side Stepper

The Bamboos Side Stepper:

A solid modern funk album, by some of the most stylish men in music. While, The Bamboos original songs are strong dance-able funk tunes, their cover of The Kings of Leon's song Kings of Rodeo sticks out. I'd like to see an entire album with a Meg Washington fronted Bamboos.

Rating: 12/15 well-pressed suits

Times New Viking - Rip it Off!

Times New Viking Rip it Off!:

Loud slop rock. Fun, but I couldn't make it through the whole album in one sitting. Sounds like Guided by Voices played out of a broken stereo.

Rating: 11/15 Albums marred by Lo-fi aesthetics

The Dirty Projectors - Rise Above

The Dirty Projectors Rise Above:

Congrats! You've made the indie version of Pat Boone's “In A Metal Mood.” You're neither funny nor ironic.

Rating: 1/15 Henry Rollins giving you a well deserved uppercut

Kevin Rudolf - In The City

Kevin Rudolf In The City:

This album is what I expect hip-hop like music made by a guy named Kevin Rudolf to sound like. In other words, this be bland yet not offensive. There are some good, guitar heavy beats on this album, but even the gnarliest guitar line can't hide Dr. Rudolph's weak rhymes. The man has no charisma and sounds the same on every track. The sole high points of this cd are when guests show up. So that makes for 9 boring, bland tracks and 3 one sort of worth downloading.

Rating: 6/15 loaves of Wonder Bread.

Fucked Up - The Chemistry of Common Life

Fucked Up The Chemistry of Common Life:

Fucked Up rule. They are smart, loud, fast and exactly what punk rock should be like. With that said, this cd was a chore to listen to. I know the songs are good (interesting lyrics, neat hooks) but after one or two I found my mind wandering and itching to hit the forward button. An amazing band to see live, a boring one to listen to.

Rating: 11/15 confused reviewers.

Black Ships - Omens

Black Ships Omens:

“Omens” is the sound of an active quarry: Loud, explosive, and crushing. The guitars are suitable distorted, while the bass is down tuned to the point of sounding almost out of tune. The vocals roar out, incomprehensible but you know he's shouting about angry things like being late for the bus. The drums anchor down the sound keeping simple rhythms that pound like war drums. The whole affair sounds like it was recorded with the Pro-Tools Wall O' Sludge plugin. Black Ships avoid the one pitfall of many similar bands in this genre, that all songs sound the same. Rather the songs are similar in sound, but different enough to keep the listener engaged.

13/15 Oil spills that are on fire.

The Drones - Havilah

The Drones Havilah:

Smug indie rock made by your parents. With their mildly dissonant clanging and Nick Cave wardrobe, The Drones may become critics darlings. Thankfully most people are smart enough to be repulsed by music that sounds like a British man having a stroke over the sound of your mom doing dishes.

Rating: 8/15 Band photos involving black blazers and a mirror

The Heartless Bastards - The Mountain

The Heartless Bastards The Mountain:

Earnest southern rock with strong riffs, lyrics, and some excellent lap-steel guitar playing.

Rating 13/15: Southern sunrises

Windsurf - Coastlines

Windsurf Coastlines:

Windsurf answers the question, “What would Tangerine Dream sound like if they were all surfers?” Good for mellowing out.

Rating: 11/15 Hemp Necklaces

Robert Fox - Evergreen

Robert Fox Evergreen:

Enya without vocals

Rating: 6/15 Boring ass CD's

Fiction Family - Fiction Family

Fiction Family Fiction Family:

Pleasant acoustic pop, not exceptional, but significantly better than Jack Johnson.

Rating: 11/15 Banana fuck-cakes

Cut Off Your Hands - You and I

Cut Off Your Hands You and I:

Sub-Arctic Monkeys jangle mixed with off key crooning. Wonderful.

Rating 5/15 Music critics wondering what the hell happened to British rock

Iran - Dissolver

Iran Dissolver:

For people who think TV On The Radio are too interesting to be cool.

Rating: 7/15 Indie smirks

Napalm Death - Time Waits For No Slave

Napalm Death Time Waits For No Slave:

Remember kids, grand pa can still kick your ass.

Rating 13/15 Skulls on Fire

Gnarls Barkley - The Odd Couple

Gnarls Barkley The Odd Couple:

Theres a couple of great tracks, but most of this album is filler. What made St. Elsewhere great, was a willingness to experiment. This is by no means a bad album, but they're capable of more.

Rating 11/15 Trumps most Neo-Soul points

Crystal Antlers - Crystal Antlers ep

Crystal Antlers Crystal Antlers EP:

Somewhere between Post rock and Classic rock resides Crystal Antlers. Few bands can be simultaneously as catchy and original as these guys. Look out for their full length debut which is scheduled for release in April.

Rating 13/15 serious reviews

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend:

Vampire Weekend fit nicely in the, “semi-popular because they're not as shitty as Bloc Party,” category.

Rating: 9/15 Ironic t-shirts

Earth - The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull

Earth The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull:

Earth continue their transition from sounding like a broken refrigerator fed through a distortion pedal to a slow tempo post-gospel instrumental rock group. This is a really beautiful album to listen to while taking a walk, or lying at home with your head between the speakers. All the tracks range from great to solid, but the three featuring Bill Frisell prove the most effective. Carlson is a great guitarist, but his playing style works best when juxtaposed with another melodic element. At any rate, this is one of the better instrumental rock albums I've heard in quite some time.

Rating: 14/15 Awesome Biblical allusions

Neil Young - Harvest

Neil Young Harvest:

Possibly the ultimate album for the lovelorn father-resenting non-Alabama residents. Young's lyrics stand the test of time, as does his bash two notes over and over again style of soloing. The backing musicians and vocalists color Young's songs tastefully and the recording quality is top-notch. The albums only fault is the orchestral tracks. The orchestral tracks are unbearably corny, and feature Young's weakest lyrics on the album. That being said Harvest has some amazing moments and is worth pirating, as Young has a penchant for spending his excess cash on revoltingly bad indie films.

Rating: 13/15 Hay bales whose colors are being perfectly accented by a sunset.

Neko Case - The Tigers Have Spoken

Neko Case The Tigers Have Spoken:

As a music critic I am obliged to jump on the alt-country band wagon, so here goes. Case and company blast through some album favorites and well chosen covers. Not her most important work, but possibly her most fun.

Rating: 13/15 Hillbilly Stomps

Elvis Costello - North

Elvis Costello North:

Exceptional lounge music from the man who wrote Radio Radio. Recommended for candlelight dinners and back massages.

Rating: 12/15 Cocktail dresses

Kimya Dawson - Alphabutt

Kimya Dawson Alphabutt:

A children's album about Dawson's more unsavory bodily functions.

Rating: 4/15 Pitchfork reviews which use elaborate justifications to explain why obviously shitty albums aren't shitty

Mind Flayer - Its Always 1999

Mind Flayer Its Always 1999:

A terribly recorded piece of boring crap. Don't get me wrong, I advocate Load Records and I double advocate anything either of the Brian's from Lightning Bolt are involved in, but as often is the case the album fails to live up to the live experience. Save your pennies and go see them live. I attended a concert of their's where almost all of their electronics failed, but they managed to maintain a ridiculous energy level with little more than drums, vocals and distorted tape hiss. They're two of the nicest most approachable guys you'll ever meet, and they deserve your money more than you do.

Rating: 7/15 Bitchin' homemade masks

Flashbulb - Red Extensions of Me

Flashbulb Red Extensions of Me:

Flashbulb is to Squarepusher what Squarepusher is to most other electronic music. Ben Jordan has the rare gift of being a great beat maker, obviously willing to spend hours hunched over a computer carefully editing each and every drum sound, and a talented guitarist. Jordan's guitar and keyboard arrangements bring a fluency and utilizes a harmonic language often lacking in electronic music.

Rating: 13/15 Tabs of Acid, THE GOOD STUFF

Ben Folds - Stems and Seeds

Ben Folds Stems and Seeds:

Apparently its possible to have a greater rate of diminishing returns than R.E.M.

Rating: 3/15 Teenage Abortions

Scissorfight - Jagernaut

Scissorfight Jagernaut:

Perfect for those who find The Moldy Peaches too raucous. Lacks testosterone.

Rating: 11/15 Pink Lady Slippers

Curlupanddie - The One Above All, the End of All That Is

Curlupanddie The One Above All, the End of All That Is: A musically above average Metal-Core band with one of the best lyricist the genre has ever seen. From start to finish this album never lets up. Curlupanddie broke up around the time this album was released due to Revelation Records complete negligence of the band and incompetency at handling any and all financial matters. Buy this record and don't sign to Revelation records, or I'll kill you. (Ed. note: He'll kill you either way.)

Rating: 15/15 Amazing songs named after Ted Nugent or comic book characters

Genghis Tron - Board Up the House

Genghis Tron Board Up the House:

Most modern metal turns me off after a couple songs, because of a lack of variation. RARARARA, CHUGCHUGCHUG, you're angry, we get it. Genghis Tron balance out their rage with some down-tempo drums and keyboard interplay, and they incorporate clean vocals, which are sung in key. Use great caution when introducing Genghis Tron to the average metal head or hardcore fan, musical dynamics make them cry.

Rating: 13/15 Lamenting Slayer fans

Isis - In The Absence of Truth

Isis In The Absence of Truth:

Remember all the aspects of Tool you loved when you were 16? Well imagine those aspects but better without all the mediocre noodling surrounding those aspects, and you pretty much have this album.

Rating: 12/15 Black Hoodies

The Greatful Dead - Workingman's Dead

The Grateful Dead Workingman's Dead:

What do you get, when you trim all the pointless noodling out of a Dead set? Surprisingly, a collection of solid country rock songs. Theres a few stinkers, the opening track, Uncle Johns Band, and the lamentable Casey Jones come to mind, but New Interstate Boogie, Dire Wolf and Black Peter make up for the weaker tracks. Its too bad more of the Dead's studio albums don't sound like this one.

Rating: 12/15 Unidentifiable poncho stains

Murder By Death - Who Will Survive and What Will be Left of Them?

Murder By Death Who Will Survive and What Will be Left of Them?:

A concept album about Satan attacking a small Southern town. With songs about whiskey, shootings, executions, and mothers smothering their children so Lucifer can't get to them, Murder by Death earns big points for badassitude. Musically the album is diverse usually sticking to country, blues, and folk song structures, but augmented with cello and piano played by two classically trained musicians. Though no specific characters are introduced other than Satan, much of the album is written from the perspective of the townsfolk, allowing one to sit back and feel their emotions and picture themselves in the same situation. I really hope this album can be integrated into a movie someday, as it plays much like a soundtrack already.

Rating: 14/15 Straight shots of Whiskey

Goblin Cock - Come With Me if You Want to Live

Goblin Cock Come With Me if You Want to Live:

Goblin Cock is funny, but not an albums worth of funny.

Rating: 8/15 Confused Pinback fans

Roots Manuva - Slime And Reason

Roots Manuva Slime and Reason:

His production just keeps getting cooler. Roots comes back with another collection of great songs featuring his trademark surreal lines. The album contains a good mix of conventional and experimental material. Goes well with a vaporizer.

Rating: 13/15 Tiggers becoming Tigers

Chairlift - Does You Inspire You

Chairlift Does You Inspire You:

A cheesier version of Blondie with a singer that can't carry a tune. Somehow this album is even less interesting than my description.

Rating: 2/15 Neon leggings

Grayceon - The Grand Show

Grayceon The Grand Show:

Sounds like Neurosis meets Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum. Great vocal and violin work, the only real flaw is the production. These guys/girl should call Steve Albini.

Rating: 12/15 Angry three part vocal harmonies

Qui - Loves Miracle

Qui Loves Miracle:

David Yow continues his trend of ranting like a lunatic over the playing of innovative musicians.

Rating: 12/15 Hairy little troll men